You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
