If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
