Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
