You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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