I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
