He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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