you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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