I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
