i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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