He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
