you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
