There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
