How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
