yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
