he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
