He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
