It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
well you can't waste a boner
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
