Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
