as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
