Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
