glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize