so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
