Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We're too hungover to prance.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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