I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
