So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
