My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize