from now on my penis is your penis
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
