You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
