You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
