I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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