do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
