Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
