Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
