I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
two words...techno handjob
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
