when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Randomize
