What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
