The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize