let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
