SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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