maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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