if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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