im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
