Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
