I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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