Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
