Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
