better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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