Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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