Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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