i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
