I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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