We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
