dude i'm inner monologue high
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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