it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
