I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
