Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
honey bunches of taint.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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