Kiss
Puke
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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